Putting Yourself First & Saying 'No'

Raise your hand if one of your favourite feelings is making someone else happy? Seeing a smile on their face and knowing that you're the reason the corners of their mouth are lifting upwards. Whether it be a family member, friend or a stranger in the street, it definitely makes me feel warm inside knowing that I've made someone's day just that bit better. But often we can get carried away with making other people smile and making other people happy that we end up not being happy ourselves. We get so caught up in putting other people first that we forget to take care of number one. In the past I have been guilty of trying to please other people despite not being 100% happy myself and it's definitely gotten me into some tricky situations.

For me, part of the reason I get into these situations is that I don't want to be branded as selfish. When I was younger I was referred to as selfish from a number of people. It didn't matter whether they were saying it as a joke or if they came out with it in the heat of the moment during an argument, it still hurt. As I got older I developed this fear of being thought of as a selfish bitch and this lead to me bottling up my emotions and going out of my way to make sure the people around me were happy.

In a way my personality contradicts itself. On one hand if I don't want to do something then I won't do it, but in certain situations and with certain people I have been guilty of forcing myself to do something that I really didn't want to do because I was worried that I would hurt them. What I failed to realise, and sometimes still do, is that it's okay to put yourself first and think about what YOU want even if it isn't what someone else wants. If the person you fear of upsetting or disappointing really cares about you then they will understand and respect the fact that you don't want to go somewhere or do something and will appreciate that you told them. They're not going to suddenly turn against you or laugh at you and if they do then you need to take a step back and think about whether or not you want someone like that in your life.

It's okay to say no to things and it's okay to take a step back and look after yourself. Self-care is important. It is difficult to let other people love and accept you if you don't love and accept yourself. At the end of the day, you're pretty much stuck with yourself for your whole life so treat yourself like you would your best friend.

So next time you find yourself saying 'yes' to something that you don't feel 100% comfortable about, think again and have the courage to say 'no.' Not only can it prevent you from getting into tricky situations but it may also help you realise who the people that really matter in your life are and who the ones that aren't.

Until next time,

Elijah xo

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Eating Disorder Awareness Week

I've been deliberating whether or not to make this post for a while now and as today marks the beginning of Eating Disorder Awareness Week I thought this would be the perfect time to do so.

For about a year and a half now I have been struggling with anorexia nervosa. Anorexia is an eating disorder which involves restricting your food intake in order to lose weight and can also include over exercising, binge eating, purging and laxative abuse. There are two types sub-types of anorexia nervosa: restrictive and binge eating/purging. For almost a year now I have been seeking help in recovering from the restrictive sub-type and have made some good progress over these past few months.

I'm not making this post to share my story with you, but if that's something you would be interested in hearing about then feel free to let me know and I may write a separate post on it. Instead I am making this post in order to raise awareness of this mental illness. There is still a huge amount of stigma and stereotypes associated with eating disorders and I want to help in challenging these and inform you of the harsh reality of what it is like living with this illness.

The first thing I want to emphasise is that having an eating disorder is not a choice. There are still people out there that believe it is. It isn't. Many people believe that being anorexic is simple about losing weight and wanting to be "skinny." The truth is that the weight loss is actually only a side effect of the disorder. There are even some individuals that are anorexic but are actually of a healthy weight and BMI. Anorexia is first and foremost a mental illness. It is often an individual's way of coping with a traumatic experience. It gives them a sense of control in a life where they may feel they have no control at all. There are a number of different factors that can influence the development of an eating disorder including both biological and social factors and it can be different for everyone.

The first initial symptom of an eating disorder is weight loss. The individual will purposely restrict their food intake and may cut out complete food groups from their diet such as carbohydrates. Due to this restriction their body will go into starvation mode. I'm not going to go into the details of starvation but you can click HERE if you would like to read more about it and what it actually means. One of the side effects of starvation is an obsession with food. I am not emphasising in the slightest when I say that you think of food 24/7. You can find yourself preparing food for others, looking at pictures of food or recipes and even buying and hoarding food. I find it ironic that the thing we fear the most is the thing we obsess over.

Another thing I want to pull to your attention is the glamorisation or romanticising of eating disorders. It disgusts me when people do this. There is nothing glamours about a skeletal figure, hair loss, making yourself throw up or being fed through a tube. Eating disorders are not something to promote and speak positively of. If I could ban every pro-ana site then I would. An eating disorder will take over your life in ways you never thought possible. It takes away your energy, your interests, your personality and all the little things that make you you. It effects your relationships with family, friends and partners. Living with an eating disorder isn't living at all. It is simply existing.

For being the mental illness with the highest morality rate there really isn't enough awareness raised about it. I hope that this post has given you a little more insight into the reality of the disorder and that you too can help get rid of the stigma and stereotypes that continue to surround it.

If you have any further questions please do not hesitate to ask or if you'd like to read up a bit more on eating disorders you can visit the Beat website HERE.

Until next time,
Elijah xo

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Kawaii Box Review | January 2015

Today I'm back with another Kawaii Box review! I hope you don't mind too much that I didn't review last months box but you can take my word on it that it didn't disappoint.

On with the review!

Snacks, snacks, oh glorious snacks. Everyone loves them but what makes a snack even better? When they come in cute packaging of course! This months box came with two packets of Rilakumma rice crackers. You may recall that I received a packet of these in the Kawaii Monthly box that I was previously subscribed to and if I can remember correctly they were delicious!

Kawaii Box is known for its charms and keyrings and January was no exception. I'm running out of places to keep them all! I'm not sure what the pink plush is meant to be but it's super cute. There was also a squishy, foamy phone charm with what looks like the :3 face on and a decoden one with a mirror on the back.

I am always more than happy to welcome any new pens into my humble abode as they tend to disappear faster than a cat spotting a mouse. Other stationary items included these cute monster stickers and a stamp that says 'magic is happy.' My only problem with the stamp is that it doesn't come with anything to cover the stamper over with so once you've used it you may end up with ink everywhere.

My favourite item in this months box was most definitely these Hello Kitty glasses. I actually squealed when I saw them! Complete with bow and whiskers they are the definition of 'kawaii.' I love them so much that I had to post a picture of me wearing them on Instagram. You honestly wouldn't think that I was 19 years old! I was also treated to a new nail polish! Mint green is one of my favourite colours so I was beyond happy with it. I did have to apply a good few coats of it but it does the job!

I'm not a huge jewelry lover but I do really like this mermaid-esque bracelet. Unfortunately I haven't worn it yet as it doesn't go with any of my winter attire but I do have a few summery outfits that it will go perfectly with!

The final item in the January box was this coral polka dot coin purse. However, I'm not using it to carry around my loose change. I like to keep my two USB sticks for college in here so that I don't lose them!

Overall I was pretty happy with this months box! If you're interested in signing up and receiving cute items like these every month then you can subscribe here.

Until next time,

Elijah xo

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No To Resolutions, Yes To Goals!

New years resolutions. Does anyone actually stick to them for the full year?

 "I'm going to start going to the gym." "I'm going to eat less chocolate." "I'm going to do this." "I'm going to do that."

It's one thing saying you'll do something but another thing actually doing it.

I gave up on the new years malarkey ages ago and beforehand my resolution was always the same - to stop picking at my nails. Much like everyone else, I'd stick at it for a few weeks tops and then I'd be back to flinging stray nails into the bin (gross, I know). Why must we make these resolutions every year when we know we're not going to stick at them? Why is the saying 'new year, new me' still a thing? Why can't we decide to change something in July? Is that not allowed? Well, I say yes, it is allowed! If you want to change something for the better, you shouldn't have to wait until the new year to do so. We shouldn't have to wait for a certain time of year to better ourselves!

But as I mentioned above, nobody every really sticks to these resolutions. So, why not set goals instead of resolutions? Why not make a list of things you want to achieve within the next year, be it the beginning of January or the middle of July, instead of making the same old 'promises' you make every year? It's about time that we focused more on the positive things in life, and setting goals can be a long term thing. There's no pressure for you to start the very next day which I feel is the case for resolutions.

I have set myself a few goals and I plan to write a post at the end of the year looking back on the past 12 months and seeing how many I actually managed to achieve.
Here are a few of the goals that I've set myself.

1) Spend more time with friends.
Over the past year I've found that I have been spending less time with my closest friends. This is mostly due to busy college schedules and just not being free on the same days. This year I want to change that. Obviously I can't change the amount of college work one has to complete, but I am determined to find the time even if it's just for a quick catch up!

2) Be happy and healthy again.
My health hasn't been up to scratch over the past year and a half and I am determined to make this year the year I get back on track. I'm not going to share any details as it's quite a personal thing but I am already heading in the right direction and I hope that by the end of the year I have made further progress.

3) Try and open up to people more.
Obviously I'm not wanting to go and share my life story with a complete stranger, but I want to try and talk about how I feel and be more honest with my friends, family and boyfriend. I'm terrible for closing off and just not talking about how I feel. I fear that I'll appear selfish or sound stupid despite  being reassured that it's neither selfish nor stupid! It's a flaw I really want to work on in 2015.

These are just a few of the goals I've set myself for this year. I also hope to pass my Media & Communication course at HNC level and then progress onto the HND. And of course another one of my goals is to post more on here! I feel like I'm already beginning to slack on the latter.

Have any of you guys thought about setting goals for this year and if so what? Do you think resolutions are starting to become a bit outdated and pointless?

And yes, to this day I still pick at my nails.

Until next time,
Elijah xo

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2014 Favourites

Apologies for the lack of posts this past month. I wish I could tell you that I was busy traveling the world or coming up with a spectacular new invention but the truth is that I was being lazy. But I plan on changing that next year. In 2015 I plan to post at least once a week. Let's see how long that lasts..

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and are enjoying the last few days of 2014. Before we enter the new year I thought what better time to look back and talk about some of my favourite things of the past 12 months!

Beauty/Skincare/Fragrance

I'm not going to lie, 2014 hasn't been a big year of new discoveries beauty wise but I have discovered a few wonders that I will continue to love into the new year. First is the Garnier Micellar Cleansing Water. Not only does it cleanse your face but it also removes your make-up. I spoke about this in one of my favourites posts a few months back and it's remained a skincare staple. Keeping on the topic of skincare I've also been loving the Simple light moisturiser. I'll usually apply this in the morning before I put on my make-up and it really does leave your skin soft and feeling fresh. My favourite perfume of the year would definitely have to be Taylor by Taylor Swift. I received this last Christmas and after a year the bottle is almost empty which does upset me a little. I'm no good with describing scents so I'm not even going to attempt it, but if you get the chance give this a good whiff. It's amazing. Finally, my last beauty fave of the year are these EcoTools make-up brushes. I seriously don't know what I had done before I bought these! Again, these were featured in a favourites post a few months ago. Not only do they apply make-up well, they're super cheap and eco-friendly!

Coconut
For me, 2014 was the year of the coconut. I have become obsessed with both the taste and the scent of the stuff and I just cannot get enough! For Christmas I was lucky enough to receive a number of coconut themed things including the Black Coconut Yankee Candle & a bunch of coconut stuff from the Body Shop.

Food
I made a lot of food discoveries this year, and it's no secret that my top new found love were nakd. bars. With a whole variety of different flavours, these bars can do no wrong. They're basically just fruit and nuts cold pressed together. I've tried every flavour (with the exception of Cocoa Orange since I don't like orange chocolate) and my favourites would have to be caffe mocha, cashew cookie, gingerbread, Christmas pud & pecan pie.

The Moomins
I've loved these Finnish hippo-like creatures ever since I was little and for years I had forgotten about them. That was until they started popping up again everywhere! Over the past few years Moomin merchandise has been appearing in high street stores such as Primark, Topshop and Waterstones and it's only fueled my obsession once again. 2014 saw my Moomin collection expand with me now owning Moomin themed pyjamas, stationary, figurines, a plush toy and I even had a Moomin birthday cake for my 18th birthday! I don't doubt that my love for these cuties will continue into the new year what with my 2015 calendar being a Moomin one.

Music
This year was filled with great new music discoveries such as 5 Seconds of Summer and a variety of new music from already loved artists including Twin Atlantic, Taylor Swift, Ed Sheeran & Union J. My favourite albums of the year would definitely have to be the Great Divide by Twin Atlantic and 1989 by Taylor Swift. I've also been hooked on the two newly released Marina & the Diamonds songs, FROOT and Happy. I seriously cannot wait for her new album which is set to be released next year! I've also of course been to a number of gigs over the past 12 months including Panic! at the Disco, Fall Out Boy, All Time Low, Twin Atlantic and more recently Nina Nesbitt and Against the Current. I don't doubt that 2015 will be another rad year for music.

 [Photo credit]

[Photo credit]

TV & Film
It's no secret that I'm not the biggest TV or film watcher but that doesn't mean that I don't have a few favourites to share with you. Just like the previous seasons, I've been hooked to American Horror Story: Freakshow. It's definitely one of my favourite seasons of the show. I can't wait for it to pick back up in the new year! I may not be a huge watcher of TV shows but I do love my anime and this year my favourite anime series would have to be YuruYuri. The first series of the anime actually originally aired in 2011 with the second series airing in 2012, but I watched both this year and loved it! It's one of those 'slice of life' animes which are my favourite.

[Photo credit]

Finally, the one film that stuck out to me this year was of course the Fault In Our Stars. I'm a huge fan of John Green's books and had been itching to see the film adaption ever since it was first announced. And I wasn't disappointed! I can't wait to see the film adaption of one of John Green's other novels, Paper Towns.

[Photo credit]

It seriously doesn't feel that long ago that we were saying goodbye to 2013. This year has been the fastest yet and I don't doubt that 2015 fly by even faster! Thank you so much for taking the time out to read this. Whether you've read every single blog post or this is the first one, I really do appreciate it! I hope you all have a wonderful new year and I'll see you in 2015.
Elijah xo

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The Christmas Tag '14

The festive season is finally upon us and I could not be more excited! I will hold my hands up and admit that I am one of those people who get into the Christmas spirit a bit too early (October isn't TOO early, right?) But now that it's December there is no reason not to embrace the festive season.

So, I'm going to get right into the swing of things by answering a bunch of Christmas related questions. I browsed the Internet for a Christmas Tag and found this post here! What better way to kick off the most wonderful time of the year.

1) What is your favourite Christmas movie/s?

I don't care what anyone says, Elf is the best Christmas film of all time. I'm not a huge film watcher, even when it comes to Christmas time, but you can always guarantee that I'll be watching Elf at least once over the holiday season. It's just hilarious and I am in love with Zooey Deschanel.

2) Do you open your presents on Christmas Eve or Christmas morning?

Who in their right mind would open their presents on Christmas Eve?! It HAS to be done on Christmas morning. I know some people get to open one present on Christmas Eve but my parents never allowed us to do that despite the constant begging me and my sister did when we were younger. Although, this year my Mum has decided to start a 'new tradition' by giving us our Christmas pyjamas to open on Christmas Eve so we're able to wear them instead of having us unwrap them on Christmas day itself.

3) Do you have a favourite Christmas memory?

I don't really have a specific Christmas memory that comes to mind. I'd say my favourite memory is just the whole day itself and all the small family traditions that we have. I'm pretty big on traditions and if any of them are broken I go ballistic!

4) Favourite festive food?

Mr Kipling Winter Warmers are by far my favourite! Warm fruit pies are my favourite type of dessert and these Winter Warms are just bliss, especially the pear, plum & cinnamon ones! Also, just anything that's cinnamon, gingerbread and filled with spicy goodness.

5) Favourite Christmas gift?

I don't really have a favourite Christmas gift of all time. It changes every year. Last year my favourite Christmas gift was my 3DS and the Animal Crossing: New Leaf game and the year before that my favourites was my Moomin plushie and Sylvanian family figures. I am a 5 year old child.

6) Favourite Christmas scent?

The Christmas Cookie Yankee candle. That is all.

7) Do you have any Christmas Eve traditions?

My family have never really had any Christmas Eve traditions. My own personal tradition is getting too damn excited and not being able to sleep that night! Although, usually there'll be a few Christmas specials on TV that we'll watch.

8) What tops your tree?

A star and sometimes my sister's toy elephant. Don't ask.

9) As a kid what was the one (crazy, wild, extravagant) gift you always asked for but never received?

 I never asked for anything too crazy like a pony or a puppy but every year I would ask for Sylvanian Family figures and Playmobil. Did I ever get them? No. But guess who did. My 8 year old sister has previously received both of these. It's a very sensitive subject in my household. However, a couple of years ago my parents finally got me a set of Sylvanian family figures as a joke. Better late than never I suppose!

10) What's the best part about Christmas for you?

I'd have to say the best part is the whole countdown to it. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the day itself and it's my favourite day of the year but after those 24 hours that's it over The three weeks before it are what really make Christmas for me. The excitement, the preparation, counting down each day with your advent calendar, putting the decorations up, EVERYTHING! 

So if you haven't already guessed I am pretty much a Christmas enthusiast!

Feel free to let me know down in the comments what your favourite thing about Christmas is and answer these questions yourself. 

Until next time,

Elijah xo

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Kawaii Box November '14 Review

I'm back today with another Kawaii Box review! And I have to say that I'm pretty damn excited about this month's box. Usually with these kind of subscription boxes it's very hit or miss, but with the exception of two of the items, I'm pretty damn pleased with it all.

First we have a super cute cat keyring. I'm not sure if this is a specific branded character or just a random cat. The only problem I have with these soft, plush keyrings is that I never want to actually attach it to my bag in fear of it getting all dirty and ruined! So, instead I have this sitting nicely on my shelf.

Along with keyrings, Kawaii Box always seems to come with at least one phone charm. This month is no exception! I am totally in love with this macaroon phone charm. It reminds me of those decoden phone cases that people make! Again, like the keyring, I'm not actually going to use this as a phone charm but use it as a cute decorative shelf piece.

As usual Kawaii Box comes with a yummy snack! Pocky are my favourite biscuits ever so I was super excited to find these in the box. Although, I will admit to wishing that they were a more exciting flavour than just chocolate. If you've never tried Pocky before then I highly recommend that you do! The European branded name for Pocky is Mikado which you can find in pretty much any supermarket!

Naturally no box is complete without a variety of stationary items! Despite never actually using them as much as I would like, there's just something overly exciting about stationary. Surely I'm not the only one who gets over-excited on entering Paperchase? Here we have some cute panda stickers and some mini sticky notes! I'm sure I'll find a good use for these.

Apologies for the crappy photo, but here's another decorative/stationary item, a set of decorative stationary stickers. I used these to decorate one of my glass mason jars that I use to keep my cotton pads in. I did struggle a little trying to stick it down as it's all in one roll and I had to cut it, and once stuck down some parts did unstick but that could have just been the glass surface I stuck it on.

One of my favourite items in this month's box was this little sheep mini desk calendar. IT'S SO CUTE! The sheep is making a different face on every month. I was also pleasantly surprised to find that it actually started this month so I don't have to wait until January to put it up. Am I the only one who gets a calendar for Christmas and is disappointed over the fact that they can't hang it up straight away?

Another one of my favourite items were these cute My Melody socks. My Melody is a character from the brand Sanrio who are the brains behind Hello Kitty. Anyone who knows me knows that I am OBSESSED with socks so I was more than pleased about these! I'm not entirely sure how I feel about the material though. I'm no good with explaining things but it feels a little more rough than usual sock material, but I'm hoping they may feel softer after they've been through the wash.

There's always bound to be at least one item in these kind of subscription boxes that you're not overly fond of and for me it was these two. An 'OMG' keyring which I probably would have found cool back when I was ten and a zip bracelet which I think is pretty cool but I would probably never wear.

As I said, I was pretty pleased with the November box overall! I really hope that there's some Christmas related items in next months box. I'm already too excited about it!

Until next time,
Elijah xo

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